He Slips Through My Fingers

My EB Window-Friend (not Jameson, the other EB W-F) just informed me that his former employee who I met a few times and flirted with over the phone has just been chosen as one of Cosmo's most Eligible Men in the US. Of course, now the guy lives in Mississippi (I had to say the little chant to remember how to spell it) where I'm sure the number of hot guys is significantly less than CA. So his odds were better after moving...Anyway, this makes the second Cosmo chosen guy that I have met prior to their making the list. The first was at the wedding of B&J ("Costa Rica Chica, do you even remember my wedding?" sigh) where he was sitting at my table. The cousin of B, I had no idea I was so close to eligible hotness. Would I have been more on point if I had known? (Could I have been anymore on? Hmm. A question for the ages. Could be answered perhaps by the closet I slept in and thought my brother had locked me in using the ingenious ironing board to keep me in. We didn't see much of those around our house growing up. Obviously I was scared...) And the only thing that leaps out about Mr. Man in my memory now is that he was wearing a pink tie.

Anyway, this is Joe Kuhner. And he was this good looking if not more so in person. And I met him mid-workout, and he was still hot. Now he apparently teaches math because, "I decided to teach because I love explaining things. I'm also a kid at heart." Maybe teaching high school would be tolerable if your co-workers looked like this guy. Hmmm.

On the positive side of things, my weekend was full of eye candy and good times. Met the lovely Eden at last, and all is well with the G-man Gang. They actually didn't look tired or anything, and walked out to see me in GG Park during my tourney, which went quite well. Re-lived our Night Train Nazi story which Daddi-o found very amusing. Got to hold the little one. All was well...I was sitting with her kind laying on my legs with her head (supported by my hands) by my knees facing me. All of a sudden there was a noise from the diaper area, and I ehmm, dropped her head. Luckily my knees were there to catch it. Tip for other baby holders out there..Dropping a newborns head does not go over all that well. They were nice about it, but there was definitely a lioness look to Sniffilious that was new. Kinda like how she would look if you made fun Rascal back in the day...but much more so.

Tourney was good...Hot enough that the hot guys just HAD to play with their shirts off. Lost in the finals, but the play all day was good. Dinner was made by Lids in the city, and today we hit the Delta for a last hurrah.

ALMOST CLEARED THE WAKE! Next season I'm sure to get it. Stupid tongue was all over the place. Luckily, no cameras were in sight. I really need to figure a different way to concentrate. Something cuter like picking my nose maybe...

Now if only my shoulder will hold out. Damn bursitits! That's how you spell it by the way. Did you know that the bursa is the area between your bones and your tendons? Well, the bursa in my right shoulder is rather inflamed and angry. The scrip is to do nothing, but I'm having a hard time following orders...

Last thing...topic of what "your passion" is came up on the boat today, and then became if you could have any profession, what would you do? Lids would do carpentry, Jameson said a guitarist in a band, and I said a politician. Which was mocked as me wanting power or control. Do I really seem that power or control fixated? (Like being a rock star didn't have more than a smidge to do with having groupies...but that wasn't mocked.) I had actually always assumed I'd go into politics at some point, but then having the fun stuff you did in college slung at you like mud...and well, there is a fair amount of that (all photographed and albumed by Manoa Missy) out there. But I don't think I have a passion. I like a lot of things, I'm fairly good at most things, but it's not like one ring controls all the others (ie LOTR). Do most people have a passion (or a precious)? I thought I had hobbies. Passion to me is Tiger Woods with golf. M Townie might be that way with poker, which makes beating him at his passion the other night kinda doubly satisifying.

That's it! My passion is crushing other people's passions. I think that's why I enjoy catching bouquets so much. The other girls really want it to get married. And I just want it so no one else will get it. If they didn't want it so bad, it wouldn't be any fun. Gee, that isn't much of a passion, though it does make sense. Hmm. I guess that kinda makes me a bitch. Well, maybe if when I beat them, I do my best not to smirk. Yes, that's what I'll do. Then I'll just be the talented girl who screams at inappropriate times. And that's enough of a cross for any one woman.

How I Make Things Hard (for Myself)

Yesterday I (at last) paid some bills that had been sitting around for a while. Now, it's not that I don't have the moola to pay such bills, I am just very bad about doing it on time. I'm trying to set up automatic bill pay on as many accounts as possible because I figure if someone steals some, in the end I'll probably still end up ahead...no late fees, finance charges or bad credit. I definitely seem to go out of my way to make my own life more trying.

My own little step towards better health...I now order brown rice on every occasion I buy dinner at whole foods. I figure it balances out the beer intake that has increased this baseball season. Somehow, sitting in a bar watching baseball just kicks ass. Much better than home.

I am a busy girl over the next few weekends...tourney this weekend--that I fear will be the last actually warm one--and the TROLLEY!! the following weekend. This is our tenth year doing the trolley, and I am impressed every year with the people on that ride. So creative with the costumes, really friendly, and even when I go knowing only a few peeps, I have the best time. The first year was maybe the craziest night I've ever been involved in (more than the walrus night), and created a couple of infamous legends. Things have mellowed since that first debacherous year, but it is definitely a raging good time. And one that requires clinging to a couch the following Sunday.

Of course, in keeping with my pattern, I don't have a costume as of yet. All I can think of are ideas for men and things that would have been great 5 years ago Then the--what about the kids thing. How to make something that is adult and kid friendly. Pregnant Britney Spears wouldn't go over great here.

I am happy to report that the Mothers returned from the great trip abroad with themselves and their good humor intact. I did hear that if wasn't for Debbie's fireman muscle, a bag or two may not have made it to Geneva. Good at hauling bags up and down train stairs is the scouting report. So keep that in mind for your next trip.

I should get to the costume store and get creative or something. But if anyone calls me to go get a beer, I'm going!!

Floats through the Air with the Greatest of Ease

Played in a little volleyball tourney this weekend. Made the quarter finals with a fine fella named Sid...not to be confused with the Sid Raspberry from the bowling/Stairmaster days of yore. No, this Sid was a great player, cool guy, and he could jump like a mofo. We played grass doubles from 9-4 with hardly any breaks between games. Great fun, and if it wasn't for my stupid shoulder aching, all would be well. I suppose that I probably shouldn't have played and rested it more, but this is the end of outdoor play, and there are so many attractive people out there, I can't stand to not go.

Today I had to tell the kids that summer is over and fall is here. (boo!) We talked about how leaves fall from the trees, and that's how they remember the season. (This works very well, and they all seem to get it. Of course, the rest of the year when I ask what season it is, they all say fall. In March, I have them march everywhere, and I get them to do chants like they are in the army. Then the rest of the year they hope it is march so they can march all over the place. Quite a teacher here, I know). Anyway, after the kids see me talk about fall, every year (including today) the kids start this strange thing where they bring me in bouquets of dead leaves. I don't think this happens to the other teachers, so I don't know what about me, what I do or say inspires kids to pick these up and hand them to me like they are roses. It is peculiar, and consistent every year. I was trying to drop hints about how much I like coffee and jewelery, but thus far, its roses and weeds that look like flowers.

Just to pat my own back for a segundo...I am very prooud of myself for doing more art in class than in years past. I have 0 creativity, so it is certainly a stretch, but the kids are coo coo for it, and it certainly cutens up the place.

Sniffy had her baby. All is well with the whole family, and the baby looks like Lori (from what I could tell) but with dark hair (lots of it!) I guess since Suri Cruise it is all the rage to have bushels of hair at birth. That beats taping a bow to the head of bald baby girls like my mother did. Apparently I didn't like when she would pull the tape (and my newly sprouting hair) off. How the woman laughs when she tells that story. And she wonders why I'm so sensitive.

I Wanna be on Top

Guilty pleasures. The above title is the theme song to America's next top model. It is on the old WB, whatever it is called now on Wed at 8. Great show. Pretty girls doing catty things while getting their hair and make-up done and then taking sexy pictures while looking "fierce" a la Tyra Banks. The girl who almost got booted last night had long beautiful hair until Tyra had her cut it off as part of her make-over, to play up her masculine features. Which it did. So the poor thing doens't feel pretty anymore, and Tyra gives her shit about it. You check it. Is she a man baby?

These pics are for the Kid. Don't say I never do anything for you.

Two in a Day?

So I'm at school, but I can't seem to get any work done. I don't feel like reading the news, although I did read the transcripts to Mark Foley's IM session. Um, gross. And not very creative either. But anyway...

I can't stop thinking that Lori is pushing a kid out of her body. I talked to the hub at 1 and they were there but the progress was slow. You know how some women want to go natural and not take any drugs? I heard someone compare that to getting a tooth pulled out with any novacaine. And think how much bigger a kid is than a tooth.

Anyway, I should really get some work done. But I just don't want to. *sigh* Wonder if there is anyone I can have an interesting IM with? :)

Quickie

So for those of you out there who know Sniffy, I got an email that she thinks she may be having contractions that are the real deal. She sent the message at 5:30 AM. She is my first friend that I've kind of grown up with that is having a kid and that I've lived through the whole marriage, preggo experience with...well, there were others, but they were in high school, were older or of a different religious persuasion that made all that happen sooner. It's really surreal for me, so it has to be bizarro world for her.

Speaking of Bizzaro World...the Brother had a poker party this weekend. I was pretty thrilled with my performance. Won one, top two in the tohers, which we diddn't play out to expedite the process...) The younger Townie seemed less than thrilled and more stupefied (like in Harry Potter). Sure, some of the times I stayed in, perhaps I shouldn't have...but when you're the big blind, and your 3 and 8 pair up on the flop, you're staying, right? Even with a strong flush draw on the table. I wonder if playing poker with someone like me (for someone like Townie who knows what is what) is like playing blackjack with a shmoo at third base in a casino.

Some awful person I work with has been stealing Coffeemate creamer all month. It didn't bother me, once in a while sure, but on a regular basis? Bitch, buy your own! Then today, I come in, and my cream is gone...the bitch finished it off and threw it away! Can you believe that??!?! I left a bitchy note on the board in the lounge. It was artfully crafted to be sure, but pleasantly sharp. Can you imagine doing that? Pretty stinky. Especially when I am jonesing for coffee big time.

Why My Apartment Stinks

No, it doesn't stink literally. I have not been happy with my apartment in quite a while. This was compounded recently by the two notices I've received in the last two months...but I'll go ahead and list them chronologically--to the best of my ability. I've lived in the place two years and one month. After reviewing the list, you tell me--bad luck or bad apartment?

* Tom The Peeper...Got out of the shower one morning (the door looks out my bedroom window), and I spy a set of eyes peeping in through my fence.
** Trick or Treat...returned home at about 4 one morning following a succession of Halloween parties to find my kitchen and part of my living room flooded after the kitchen sink backed up.
*** Jack in the Crack...Car was stolen from in front of my house so a couple of yahoos could hit J in the C. Left ashes adn curly fries all over the counsel when they found it 32 days later. (With open but unharmed baby presents for Child Town-normous.)
**** Plumber's Crack...I routinely have next to no water pressure in the bathroom sink, and my shower drain loves to catch my hair. This means I have to pull out a hair ball the likes of which a cat (i.e. da Bones) pukes on a regular basis.
***** Light a Match!...The apartment is quite dark, which is nice in the summer, but in order to see in the kitchen at any point in the day, you have to have a light on. I hate that! And the bathroom fan will never turn off, and it kinda drives me to drink.
****** Cat haters...Got a notice on my door that the management only allows indoor cats, and they've been seeing a lot of cats outside lately. They think this is why their flowers are all torn up. (Cats don't destroy flowers, but anyway...) So their grand solution was to hire a firm to trap cats on the property and deliver those cats to the humane society. And levy a fine against the owner. Winklestien can just barely haul his 20 lb. ass over the fence (sounds like he is taking it down) and now I have nightmares that my fence is surrounded by cat traps. I tried to keep him in, but his incessant meowing propels me to fling the door open and boot his butt out.
******* Loud sex neighbors who hate TV...If you have loud sex, I don't think it's fair to punish those of us who watch somewhat loud tv. I don't think you have the right to complain about much. That's just me.

So what do you think?

Field Trip Fun

Well boys and girls...we certainly had a time yesterday. First, I found it amazing that we were able to fit 140 kids and 70 adults (kids whose mothers are seniors in high school we count as adults. It is judged by butt size) on three buses. Followed by a leisurely 30 minute ride to a pumpkin patch where the clouds stayed at bay until we were driving home. Of course, since it was so blissfully dry out there, a kid with asthma came down with an attack, and since his MOTY (mom of the year) didn't send an inhaler, we ended up calling an ambulance. To sum it up, the kid is fine, we all made it back, and I was able to take a nice nap.

I am happy to report that I am back on the volleyball circuit. Played in a tourney on Saturday, did well enough, though I've got to take it easy for a bit because I have brisidous. I don't know how to spell it, but it hurts to move my right arm. So it's presently in a sling, and all the kids think I have a broken arm. (I hope I never get an abusive husband because they'll be asking me all day what's wrong with me. Kids have no tact.) I have two more tourneys in Oct, and then a whole NCVA season where we play all around CA! Yeah! Plus, I have to tell you, there is nothing hotter to me than a guy drinking a beer at 10AM and then playing kick ass volleyball. Me gusta!

Straight and Fine

Due to circumstances being just right I will be earning a cool extra grand this month. So while I should be thinking about ways to save, suddenly the little nicities like a Coach purse, cute shoes and dinner out on a regular basis keep crossing my mind. What I decided to splurge on however was a device to make my life a little less kinky. That's right friends, I have invested in a high-quality hair straightener. $130 later, it takes hardly any time to do, and it worked so well, I thought that perhaps I had permanently damaged my hair and it would never be curly again. (And I have to say, I was kind of sad...so I guess somewhere deep down, in places that I don't talk about at parties, I am secretly embracing my kinky side...). A little water and it was back in fine form--no worries. So look for new and improved Chica with long, brushable hair the next time you see me.

I have also been trying to get to the gym more often. Started last night be attending the only aerobics class I was on time for--the last one. Of course, it was only 30 minutes and was called 24 Hour Tease. It was a class that used stripper moves to work out to. Great music, and I really liked it. I did realize that my hips are really good at rolling in one direction. The other--doesn't work so well. The instructor kept telling us to be sexy as we were spanking ourselves and using our workout towels like gloves to entice oru audience. After all this practice, I am excited for the next private dance I do. In the meantime however, I'll just have to be content with being a 24-Hour Tease. :)

Engaging News

So in the last week, two of my friends have gotten engaged. This lowers the single female friends in my age range to two. One in Sac, one in HI. This makes for interesting/boring evenings on the weekends. Somehow my weeknights are often full with peeps, but the weekends have become kinda quiet. This is not thrilling, let me tell you. It is well-known that I like a good cocktail on occastion, but somehow it's not socially acceptable to go get one solo. People start to think either you've got a drinking problem, or you're looking for some action. Both could be equally true I suppose. :)

So I guess the time has come for me to look for something "serious". *sigh* That Match thing...last guy I went out with...we met at the LG Jazz in the Plazz, and after explaining to a friend all was cool, but to just not ask how we met, 30 seconds after we sat down, she said, "So Chica, where did you two meet?" I was quick witted and said, "Oh, we met over at the bench at 7". Bitch. (She said it was similar to pushing people in the water, but I think it is closer to just being a jerk. Payback is a bitch, and I can be too.)

Anyway, this guy said he was 6', but upon meeting, he was probably 5'9" and I was wearhing a sandally heel, so I was pushing 6'. While we were talking, I mentioned I was in a quandry about work, and he looked bewildered by what I meant. This happened a couple other times over the course of the night. Hmm. Then at dinner (which he bought--nice) I order something with shittake mushrooms. He said, "Sh-I-I-take? What is that?" He'd never heard of them. And in conversation, he said he'd only left the country 2 times, and the last time was the weekend before when he went to TJ. So when he asked about my summer, I felt like I was bragging about my trip, andit didn't get better when he asked if I'd been before, and I felt like I was confessing when I said it was actually my 5th trip. (Which is pretty cool come to think of it.)

Anywho, the search continues. I wish it didn't feel like work. Well, I guess since work doesn't seem like work, something has to. *sigh*

Oh Shit! Oceans!

So this is the start of my third year in kindergarten. I really feel like I've got the grade dialed pretty nicely, and things are flowing well. I know where they need to be by the end of the year, and how to utilize parents and volunteers so they do as much of my job as I can give them. Which is nice...

No, I don't do a newsletter a week, but I talk to parents and the kids each morning and afternoon about what they will do each day, so the parents always know and can practice at home. (doing a little bit of my job--see!) We have these little sayings for each letter and number..."over the rainbow, down the slide, two, two, two..." And "One is fun" (but two is better)--SS, the other teacher likes to add that last part.

Year started kinda crazy. Last year--90 kindergarteners. This year, 140. So we've added new people, including a former second grade teacher that I have become a mentor for. She watches me sing, dance, and teach in the afternoon then does a repeat performance for her class the next day. I have the usual group of students who don't speak the English, but overall, I'm sure they'll end up fine. This one kid runs around like a tank, He is very short, but kinda built like a sack of rice--one of those big bags from the Asian aisle in the supermarket. I tried to lift him on to the monkey bars, and let's say, it was a struggle.

Then today, we were working on the number three, and I held up a paper, and I hear this kid say, "Oh shit." "What?" I quickly asked. And he repeated himself, pointing to the paper. So I looked at it and realized there were OCEAN animals on it. Oh. That's different. Nevermind.

World Traveler, Part Dieu

So when I last left off…I was in Europa, living the dream. Times was good, the weather cooled down, the rain arrived and my hair (and I) continued to love it. Here is a quick list of fun times. I’ll fill you in on more specifics when I show pics in the near future:
Became an honorary Trinidad and Tobegan. D & I thought it would be fun to launch the Fete de Geneve off by being in a parade. That day involved painting a British guy in chocolate, getting dressed (in a house with no mirrors) in costumes owned by a girl who is 5’2”, marching in baby steps for 3 miles over a period of 3 hours, being in photographs and videos of people from all over the world (lots of middle eastern women in burka like get-ups) that with the grace of god I’ll never see. (Another reason I can’t run for public office. Sigh).
Sketching on trains. D & I had a lot of “together time” and as usual, it was great, we were consistently amused by one another. Except this one time. We were coming back from…somewhere…and we thought it would be fun to sketch one another. Only rule was that you couldn’t erase. D’s pic actually looked like me. She’s got some skills. Mine of her looked like a man who might be touching himself inappropriately. I couldn’t erase. I finally stopped drawing to stop the bleeding, but couldn’t stop laughing. Every time I looked, it made me laugh harder. Her reaction wasn’t the same. She seemed a bit insulted. “Is this how you see me?” I can be booked for children’s parties. More fun than a clown!
I saw Everest on a clear day. Well not really. It was the Matterhorn, but I couldn’t stop calling it Everest. Took an early morning train (4:45) to Zermott, which is an unbelievable town in the middle of Suisse. It only has miniature electric cars, horse drawn carriages, and lots of beautiful mountains. We toured around the town, including a stop in the climbers cemetery which is in the heart of town. People from all over the world, including some men that were only 17. Fact for those inclined to become mountaineers. My quick study noted that most people die on the way down. So don’t go thinking that’s the easy part. We took a series of three trams to the top which didn’t have snow, but it did have a great view of Everest and a fun teeter totter. We also ate roassti, which is a potato based dish, with cheese, sausage, and all good things. Kick ass. And the restaurant, Ya, they have lots of alcohol. Then we walked all the way down. And now you know that is the most dangerous part!
People in Geneva have NO IDEA WHAT WAKEBOARDING IS. Sure, they go out on boards on water, behind boats, but the lake is nothing but rough. “Wakeboarding” was like being in one of those old work out machines that puts a belt around your waist and shakes and jiggles your action.
Nothing small at Petite Palace. Our wild club night…G-Money missed the fun, but let me tell you--D & I did not. We went with a group of her friends…en route, we actually saw a stunningly attractive young guy driving a white Lamborghini. (Apparently it is a well-known and summer regular happening that Saudi princes fly in planes of their entourage and their cars.) Going into the place, we moved toward what we thought was the bar, but in actuality was a couple doing a sexy show where the big finish was oral sex. She was totally naked, he in a speedo. Then they finished up, we had some drinks, and they did the show again in an hour. This time on top of an American flag, so I gotta think that was a shout out.
Boys can be tricky. In Amsterdam, I found myself getting seduced by what I thought was a gay man (who was on vacation with his boyfriend). I thought I’d finally made a gay friend. I think I’m not metrosexual enough for the average gay fellow. But after seeing women with gay friends on Sex in the City, I wanted one. So when they were super friendly, bought us drinks and wanted to hang out, we were all for it. Then it began to dawn on us, that they were really coming on to us, and would love to be the bread in a D&K sandwich. So I guess in retrospect they were either tricky hetero guys, or bisexuals. Which just seems greedy. One or the other. Both? Really?
Amsterdam has the most memorable tour guides. Mike’s Bike Tour rocked. Diego the boat guy—loved him. Drunken whore tour guide. Not so good. But at least I saw where she may or may not have had sex with Quentin Tarantino while he was strung out on heroin writing Pulp Fiction. Which explains why that movie is so damn dark. And her boyfriend…kind of like a dirtier old man version of Dharma’s dad from that TV show a few years back.

So that’s some of what I could think of…times were great with G&D. We laughed, we ate, we drank, and we emailed. Many good times and memories. I always thought G and I would have been good roommates. I think he knows it now too. So many thanks to them, my loyal email correspondents, and all the cool peeps we met.

Where I've Been, What We've Been Doing

So although G$ thinks that I am obcessed with computers, I somehow I haven't been good about updating me blog...oops. Here is a quick catch-up...

I'm sure you're wondering, K, how is your hair looking? ...with the humidity, I'm giving Shirley Temple a run for her $. Total corkscrew curls all day long. It looks kinda cute, and since it is so curly, it is suddenly chin length, so it's mostly off my neck.

Incidentally, the backpack I'm using is Ace's from 1995. It was built for unusually tall people and has an aluminum frame that I think are way out of use. People are stunned by the size, and apparently kind of angry when I knock them with the frame while walking down aisles on the train. (I didn't notice because it is so big--D only told me yesterday. Oops!)

We got to Nice around 10AM, and decided we'd spend the day at the beach because it was crazy hot. So we went to a private beach and got the cute, comfy chair and umbrella, and I was instantly in the water. The temp was fantastic, and it is so salty, you barely have to move to stay afloat. I was in a few minutes and heading back to shore when this enormous pain hit my shoulder. Total searing pain. I think I kinda screamed, and the tears started because the pain was just crazy. Turns out I was stung by a jelly fish...never happened to me before. And that was the end of my swimming yesterday in the Med. I guess because of the water temp being so high, a lot of them were close to shore. Which was unfortunate to learn after the fact. But the day only got better from there--it would have to right? :) (Although I had to give D some crap because she heard me scream and didn't come running. What the hell is that?) The rest of the day I hid under the umbrella (if you expose the sting to sun, it will leave a scar. Too bad almost all of my shirts are tank tops).

Other than that...all has been well, relaxing and fun. Went to a Matisse museum in Nice. Perfect size--the entire museum was the size of a large house. AND it had an air-conditioned theater on the bottom floor, so while d went shopping, I took a nap. the movie they were showing was in French, so it wasn't as gripping as you'd imagine. It was kind of like watching Bob Ross (the Happy Trees painter)--spells nighty-night for me. My commentary on Matisse--his busts of his wife's face consisted of a series of four. The first was flattering, and each subsequent one was less and less until she started to look like an ogre. I wouldn't be too happy with my husband...I hope she made him pay for that. But then again, I remember the drawings i did of my friends and family. Not the most flattering portraits...but I did make myself look like an east-Indian Time Life Alien, so maybe it wasn't malicious.

Later that afternoon, I went to Monaco, while D stayed in Nice. Lemme tell you...you haven't seen or met wealthy people til you've been there. We all have friends that "have money", but no one we know has this kind of money. Which is too bad, because I really want to go for a ride on one of those boats. Five stories tall, all attractive and male crews. Ski and sail boats along side so you don't get bored. The cars driving around are Bentleys, Rolls Royces, Lamborghinis...and oodles of them. The Monte Carlo casino charges you to just get in to play, so I decided to instead drive a Ferrari around the F1 racetrack that circulates Monaco. But there was a bit of a wait, and my time had been shorter in town than planned because I got off the bus about 3 km downhill from where I should have. (Never so good with directions...) So I didn't get to do either. But I did make it back to Nice, and for me that's quite an accomplishment!

We went to this other city in France that is about 40km from Geneva on Monday. Crazy beautiful. I think the name of the town was Anesse. Huge lake and quaint town with huge mountains rising up next to it. It is close to Albertville (they had the winter olympics there a few years ago). The lake was so clear it looked like the Caribbean. I've never seen a lake like that. Amazing. We spent a good portion of our day walking, then floating on a boat, swimming and just enjoying. Love it!

We're heading out soon...more later!

A Moment in the Life of a Single Female

So after the houseboat, the Drake sat me down and insisted that I get on Match.com in order to meet some quality men. He had had some luck, and figured it would be great for me.

Of course, I joined about 10 days before leaving on this trip. I've exchanged some emails (including some with one cool guy in particular), but had to share the profile of one of my admirers. I don't want this to sound like I'm mocking him, because I could be struck by lightening. (It'll make sense in a few). This works best when read out loud by Obus. If he's not there, just imagine him doing it. (And if you know anyone within a 2000 mile range of Fullerton CA who'd be a good match, I can play match maker! Photos available upon request...)

About me and what I'm looking for
One thing that you should know first off is that I am seeking a wise lady who
(1) fears her creator, you don't need to love and adore the creator however. (2) is spiritually minded, you know that there are laws of liffe which are absolute and eternal truths and you know that the creator has some requirements concerning his/her being lord and master EVEN THOUGH you might hate and loath him / her or be disgusted with the creator, why ever or what ever the cause but who wisely is none the less god fearing at least so much as it is necessary.
(3) is honest and just , not lying and evil.
(4) is generous, meaning that you must be a giver and not a mere taker.
(5) keeps the creator's commandments, such as the 10 commandments etc.

My spiritual cravings are my first ambitions in life due to fact that it is the spirit which gives life, even eternal life. To be of interest to me, you must have as you # 1 ambition in life, ever-lasting life.

If we would choose life so that we could live and if we would choose 'to be' rather than choosing that we would 'not be', we must know what 'life' is and what it means 'to be'. So then the questions which we must answer are, 1) What is life so that we would choose it and 2) who is our creator / life giver so that we would love him / her and 3) What are his / her laws so that we would do according to his / her laws and who or what is the creator so that we would 'stick to' or be loyal to him / her.
If you are curious as to what works for me. Then well, what works for me is that if The creator keeps all of his / her promises which he / she gave me. That is if the creator / "I AM" does indeed do as he / she told Moses, that he / she "shall prove to be what he shall prove to be." and in so doing proving himself / herself to be my life and the length of my days. We all do need the being in touch with our life giver who is the source of our living power.

my religion
I keep the torah But I do not follow any of the organized religions because their leaderships are under satan's control

I am a man who accepts what is, is! But it seems as if the whole wide world does not know what is, is.

Bikes, Boobs, Boats and Birds

I'm here at G&D's. So the airline lost my bag with all the clothes...the salsa, pistachios, got here though...etc. Gary took me shopping...first thing we went to was lady's lingerie. We were laughing because in the past the only shopping we've done together has been HB related. And now we're buying panties. Funny...

Yesterday G-Money and I took the bikes for a ride around Lake Geneva. Big, blue, clear and good conditions for skiing in the middle of the lake. (for those non-boaters out there, that is freakin rare in the middle of a lake). We went to the fountain that shoots water something like 500' in the air and got a nice shower, which was very welcome due to the humidity and heat. G, ever the tour guide pointed out that near this fountain is where the first bird flu ridden bird was found. Yeah!

Our ride proceeded along the banks of the lake, and then we stumbled across a couple of topless beaches. G somehow didn't notice the boobs hanging out--so European all of a sudden! The same standard that I've seen in the states held true--the people who tend to nude it up are rarely the ones you want to see doing it. Later in our ride we went off-roading and G spotted (though I missed it) some older naked men hanging out--literally.

We rode for a few hours, then took a paddleboat back. The boat was beautiful, and you could see the machinery (pistons) like they showed in the movie Titanic in the middle of the boat. Had lunch, and both took a nap for about 3 hours. This is my kind of vacation!

Going around with G is funny because he doesn't know ANY French. Apparently it took him several visits to the store to locate milk (in a box that looks like soap, and it is not refrigerated). I know nada en francais, so we make quite the pair. I keep wanting to answer questions in Spanish...or say in Spanish, I don't speak French. but we don't know how to say that. So I just do the nod, empty smile on my face...

We're off in a few to pick up Debbie and my bag that was located! So no more shopping trips for G and I...Second floor: hardware, childrens wear, lady's lingerie. Oh, good morning...

An Auspicous Start

Many years ago, Pong and I took the ski boat off the HB to scout for a new docking situation. In the midst of oursearching, we stoppedto take a dip and shoot the breeze. While we were talking, a tree fell in the forest near us. And we heard it...thus answering a long standing question.

I think I answered another one today. If a woman knows no one and something bad happens and no one is there to hear her cry, will she? The answer is no. I am presently sans any clothes for my trip. I've been assured this happens all the time, and they are willing to give me £12.50 for my trouble. Wow...considering this internet session is costing me 3, I don't have much left.

Thankfully, I don't feel like crying...I just feel like changing. I did meet an interesting person on her way to Sierra Leon(sp? I should know how to spell that) where she is going to work in an orphanage for a couple years. She lost 4 bags, so I guess I'm lucky. Plus I'm not going to a war torn region. Which is nice...

Leavin, on a Jet Plane

I am happy to report that my seating for my flights to England all have me in a window seat. I am not happy to report however that my layover in England is not the 2 hours I had thought--it's 3.5 hours. FMA. AND apparently you can only check one bag on Easy Jet...I have one backpack and a suitcase with gifts (and other of my things...) and my carry-on. I tried to see how much they charge for these things, but couldn't find the info. I'm hoping it won't be that much, because that would stink.

On the happy side of things, my cat is siting at my feet snoring. So at least one of us isn't bothered. I'm going to try to stay up most of the night, and then hit the beach in the morning so I can expend as much energy as possible and be totally exhausted when I get on the plane. Sound ambitious for the likes of me? I know...I think the odds are around 20% that I'll make it to the beach. Looks to be about 97% that'll be up til at least 4. Why? Cuz that's how I roll, kids.

Speaking of rolling (my eyes)...a friend advised me that when packing for this trip, I should basically just pack for 3 days. I think this is crazy talk. I'm bringing 4 pairs of shoes for crying out loud. And i just bought nine new shirts today. Is that a bit much? Along with everything else? I'm going to have to rethink this. Good thing I've got time!

That's Really Something...

Ever since the Lids parents' anniversary party last year, I've been thinking about picking up guitar, and in the days following the houseboat, and after speaking to Mr. Windows, I went ahead and did it. I got me an acoustic Fender guitar and along with it, an even more irritated upstairs neighbor. Yeah...Anyway, I also was pointed in the direction of a guitar teacher. Great guy, and all was well and normal til today.

It is blazing hot down here in SJ and as I sit down and we start tuning me up, we're chatting and he mentions that he's been working out more and he needs to do it early because it is so hot. He says he wants to take some weight off, and get hard or something. He's in good shape from what I can tell, so I made some innocous "you look fine to me" kind of thing. Then he mentions that he used to be a Chippendale. And he was a member of Male Express. "Would you like to see some pictures?" So of course I say sure...

He goes to his computer and pulls up his web site. (I'll tell those of you via email the site if you are wanting a peek--or a guitar teacher). The normal body building pics--and then...the Playgirl pics come up. And he just goes through them. This is the cover shot--artfully naked, thong shots, artfully naked surfboard shot, and then and the CENTERFOLD. Full frontal on the beach. My response..."that's really something." And he goes on to tell me how one of the guys in a shot next to him had the longest shlong he'd ever seen and he only had a size 7 shoe.

So my lesson hasn't yet started, and I've already seen the man naked. Normally this is how my dates start...ba dum bump! (I'm here all week! Don't forget to tip the wait staff!)

As I was leaving, all I could think was that this kind of thing never happens to Mingle. But then again, she did take me to my first party that had a naked man on stage. Of course, we didn't know that was going to happen. I guess it makes me wonder if I wasn't there, would it have happened. Am I the common denominator? I love pondering the big questions in life. And I do mean BIG!

Calzone!

This weekend was completely action-packed--not that kind of action OB...but it could have been. Damn that sense of propriety that pops up on occasion!

Friday night I went with the Plants to Hotel des Artes (a boutique) hotel in SF to celebrate Bastille Day. The hotel has different artists paint murals in each room, and the hotel was decorated with different paintings and photographs up for auction. And there was an open bar, so you know the vibe was good. Met some cool people and then we headed out to North Beach and hit Calzones for dinner...then on to the Supper Club. Interesting place. Surrounding the dance floor and bar was a bed--that encircled the entire place. Fantastic! Now there's a place for some action, let me tell you!

Went back to the Plants' at closing time where we stayed up til 5:30 and I wondered if I'd ever be able to sleee...p. Which I quickly did til Lids called me to get my ass up. Followed moments later by Jameson wanting "a hamburger, no a cheeseburger, no a hot dog, no I want a chili dog." He got nothing and liked it. Well nothing til we stopped at the gas station and hit up the taqueria inside. While I was suspect of how good this could be, this didn't stop me from inhaling a beef tostada at 10:30AM. (Which was a good move because the calzone I had for dinner could have been made in a 7-11.) Full day out on the boat--didn't leave until 7:30! Didn't roll back into SF til 10:30, at which point the party in the club (thanks Fifty) Wasn't. Going. To. Happen.

My friend Walker was in a wedding this weekend and had quite a few stories to tell over dinner/drinks tonight. A model from NY who hangs with Puffy was also in the wedding and literally had bling coming out of his hoo-ha. During the posed photos, he was crossing his arms and holding up his index and middle finger in a sign that apparently means peace and prosperity, but looked a lot like gang signs to the bride. Now that's a memory for your wedding album...

I'm watching the 40 Year Old Virgin (waxing scene) right now. Funny. Shit.

Leaving for Europa Europa on Thursday. All my bitches better call to say good-bye!

You Can All Go FMA

The thing I like best about the houseboat are the little funnies that seem to happen that people can razz you about for years to come. I'd say this year's trip lived up to the usual standard, and may have even surpassed it. Those of you with a history--Ping/Pong, etc. can weigh in with your verdict.

Here are the 22 things that I learned on this year's trip. Names have been changed because I prefer nicknames:
1. One case of beer and a 1.75 of hard alcohol is not enough for my group of friends. Why do we drink that much? Because we "CAN CAN CAN!"
2. Butterflies seem to hatch the last week of June in Trinity County.
3. Men do not seem to think that "All Play" in Pictionary means that you can look at what the other team is drawing. (Can we get a vote on this?)
4. I will NOT be practicing back dives by myself at any point. Apparently when I got the courage to kinda go in backwards, I almost knocked myself silly on the platform. That would have been sad. Or been a very funny video on Lid's high def tv for others to watch on July 4th.
5. If you make funny faces in pictures, the pictures do in fact turn out funny. Same with doing stupid things--damn those modern cameras with their video capability.
6. My tongue does in fact stick out a great deal when I'm thinking. And by a great deal I mean a good few inches. This is not attractive and should be avoided at all costs.
7. The Drake has a sweet tooth and so does his Sweetie. And Sweetie likes GHOST and SayGo. If I didn't like her before, you know she's in now!
8. The next time Mr. Mingle goes hiking, he needs to bring a walkie talkie in the event he is mauled by the bear...he saw out there.
9. 7 out of 9 HBers prefer the term RiDick as opposed to RiCockulous. I'm more of a cock fan.
10. If you need a writing utensil, DON'T say, "hey, when you find the mechanical pencil, can you stick it somewhere I can find it?"
11. I may use the words "action" and "stuff" a bit too much. Maybe...
12. Guitars are a good addition to any sunset. So are people who let me sing sans comments.
13. People who snore should carry earplugs with them as a courtesy to others.
14. I need to sleep next to OB because no one else seems to hear him speak at night. Where are the ramrod/Japanese boyfriend/simple swim dreams of years past?
15. There is definitely a fear/pain gene that I have that Jameson does not.
16. Rica Suave can not be the light sleeper she always claims to be...sleeping through a rain storm??
17. Afternoon boating trips with a cooler of beer and even cooler people kick ass. (god, that was practically a sweet thing to say!)
18. Mrs. Mingle can swim further underwater/without breathing than the other chicas on the boat. Please note the wording of the contest was understood by contestants if not by observers.
19. Swiss Miss is like a retriever with a ball when it comes to boarding.
20. B has apparently given up on both backgammon and hearts. Hey, he knows when to say when!
21. Jameson can jump over boats, railings, chairs, people in chairs and people standing on docks. This does not mean it won't make you scream however. But it doesn't bother/distract him anyway--trust me.
22. Apparently when shopping, I INSISTED (with a high-pitched voice while flailing my hands in the air) on getting a case of Diet Pepsi.

So those are the things I can think of. You guys are my favorite people because whether you let me use your action or we can just hang out and do stuff, it's always a good time. Now, how many girls can say that? Ah, go FMA, I'm getting sentimental...