Sunday, March 12, 2006

Want Me to Drive Your Car?

Ok, so most of my loyal readers are more outspoken than I in awkward social situations--so I'm turning to you for your advice. This weekend, a friend of a friend said the following comments to me in a loud voice in front of multiple people. (All in the guise of "kidding"). I should preface this by saying I had just gotten my hair done and it looked pretty great. Here you go:

* "K, your hair does look great. I want to have sex with your hair. And I'm not talking about the hair on your head!"
* "K, you are the first girl I've let drive my car whose pussy I haven't eaten. This is not to say that I wouldn't. Do you want me to? Because I would totally eat your pussy."

This is just a taste test--the ones I remember. So here is the question. Given that this is a dear friend of a friend, and they were there the whole time, I was both shocked and stunned that this was said in the company or said at all. How would you people have handled it. I thought that anything I said would come out really malicious and mean--lots of material to rip this guy a new one--and I knew he'd say, "I'm just kidding".

Just so you all are aware of what you need to do to get me to be the DD in your car next time we go out...

On a side note--watching the West Wing. Stopped wawtcihng a few years ago. Josh and Donna finally kissed. I love it when longtime crushes hook up. Yeah!

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Cuteguy35--I don't think so!

So I had a blind date of sorts that was arranged by my friend Craig on Monday. Met up with Mr. Cuteguy35 (we had exchanged some emails prior to meeting). Now I was told he was 6' with blonde hair and blue eyes, and he was Norweigan. I was picturing someone like Meggie's friend Annette's husband who is the best looking man I've ever seen in real life. Plus, he deemed himself cute--so I was reasonably confident.

Well, I walked into the bar, and THERE HE WAS. All I could see was his hair. Long (middle of his back), greasy and at the same time frizzy. Parted in the middle. Yimminey. Yamminey. Yuck. Never been a fan of the long hair (or long toes). Well, we have a beer, it was boring, he was a software engineer, and carries no love for ford Auto company. OK...Of course I took a break to call and curse craig from the bathroom. Had to be done.

So for future reference. I don't like long hairs! Or long hairs coming out of noses. I saw that recently and if I didn't like the person, I would have told him to clip that action. Considering he is married, I figured that was her problem to live with anyway. Wives, no one wants to see your man's nose hair. It isn't cute. Give me a hairy back before a hairy nose!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Does God Hate Me to Play on Saturdays?

I don't know if I'm entirely responsible for how God plans the weather, but I would just like to point out that prior to the month of Feb. (when I wrote my paper) there was only one Saturday since Thanksgiving that didn't rain. (And on that day, I was REALLY hung-over.)Saturday is when I LOVE playing v-ball in the park. Now that I'm done, another huge storm comes to town. That beautiful weather better return soon!

So, hats off to all you nursing/medical-type/have kids people. My total gross out moment of the day...E. is a girl in my class--sticks just about everything in her mouth. They were measuring today with cubes and I went over to work with her, and she pulls a cube out of her mouth complete with a long drab of spit dangling off of it. I don't know why this totally turns my stomach. I think its the knowledge that when I get sick, it's those damn snotty kids! If I can't handle spit, those other bodily juices just wouldn't be something I could deal with on a daily basis.

But I digress...here is my List of Top Fours...You should note that the next to last Project Runway is on this evening. If you missed it, Bravo is kind enough to re-run it on a practical loop. Heidi Klum is just pretty beyond words. Seal must have one hell of a personality.

Four jobs I've had:
1. Newpaper delivery GIRL (not a boy as I was tragically mistaken for once when I was 10 and chose to wear a hat.)
2. Video store clerk. Best job in high school. Give free movies to your friends...watch movies at work...learn about sex from the slutty other clerks...(and get busted when they ask if you think they're sluts and you say yes. that's before I learned that people don't always want to hear what you really think. She told our boss what I said. I just felt I was being honest.)
3. International woman of mystery. ok, I was really just a marketing kinda girl, but since we never sold anything, I really think I fought more crime...especially on our trip to Hawaii.
4. Teacher.

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Shawshank Redemption (thanks TBS!)
2. Goodfellas
3. The Untouchables
4. St. Elmo's Fire. (What life after college was expected to be...)

Four places I have lived:
1. Daly City
2. San Bruno
3. Davis
4. San Jose

Four T.V. shows I love:
1. Project Runway
2. Prison Break
3. The Amazing Race
4. Law & Order, Original and SVU on re-runs.

Four places I have vacationed:
1. Costa Rica
2. Italy
3. England
4. Russian River. Not in Russia--in Sonoma.

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Turkey dinner with the fixings (mashed, stuffing, etc.) from Thanksgiving.
2. Townsend pizza
3. Spaghetti with sausage
4. A really good sandwich on good bread...and if you can make it a panini, all the better.

Four sites I visit daily:
1. CNN
2. The sites of you people.
3. NU.edu to check to see if my grades have been posted.
4. televisionwithoutpity.com if I have missed one of my shows. Gives witty re-caps of what I missed. Not daily, but you should check it out. Good stuff.

Four places I'd rather be right now:
1. A hot beach.
2. With a hot man in a hotel on Union Square.
3. In a great dress dancing after an awesome dinner. With someone taller than me in my kickin' high heeled dance shoes.
4. In Italy. Walking outside all day, followed by a three-hour dinner with plenty of wine.