Your Permanent Record

So I've been MIA of late because anytime I was in front of my computer I was trying to avoid writing my report cards, so obviously I was distracted by Spider solitare and that damn refrigerator that really needed to be cleaned. Conferences start tomorrow, so this week will be quite busy as well. But seeing as I've scheduled all of those, there's really no avoiding the work that will happen as a result. Damn!

But play catch up with me now on what the hell else has been happening...

Thanksgiving morning I met lovely Manoa Missy for a rousing breakfast. First people in the place. And yes Dale, when you go to breakfast early, you actually do beat the crowd (except at the Chinese place). Later, I went with my dad out on some errands. See, my dad tends to get a little fanatical about things. Back in the younger years it was cars, now it is firewood. But he has to get it for free. He was working at Lowes prior to the back problems, and learned where they dispose of wood. My mom refuses to take him to get this, but I took him where I found myself looking through a dumpster for this wood. We filled up about a third of the truck with this stuff. My dad was thrilled. So Friday, he sent about an hour cutting up wood, and he just couldn’t have been happier. Meanwhile, I’ve become a dumpster diver. So the next time you are at our cabin and see all the lovely wood next to the stove, you’ll know how it got there. The only price was my pride…

After that, things improved. The weather was still gorgeous yesterday, so I went to the beach later with Jodi and the dogs. Charlie (my parents’ dog) caught and killed a gopher and then proceeded to bring it to me and drop it at my feet where I watched the poor thing twitch for a few seconds and then die. Happy Thanksgiving!! He was quite proud and I was quite disgusted, so we (ok, she) quickly buried it and kept on walking.

I did receive a classic Brad invite to dinner last week. He said he was making cheeseburgers for he and Zach since Erika wasn't going to be home. I said I'd bring a salad and fries. I got an email from him that afternoon and he needed me to bring pretty much everything but the meat. Lucky for him they were quite good burgers. This was followed by getting my ass kicked by Zach in xBox, and a hotly contested backgammon match with Brad. I would like to say I let Zach win, but given that I would never throw a game (and I think you all know that), I have to admit I just got schooled. I can only improve though. We played a Star Wars game and my score was -2. I didn't kill any bad guys and killed 2 good guys. Oops.

And last week I got to experience a kid having a two hour crying fit. I subbed for the morning teacher, and she got a new student fresh from Mexico. Not a word of English, and he became frantic and hid in the girls bathroom once his mom left. And I'm not talking silent tears here. Sobs and pleas for me to call his mother. And vows that he will not be coming back tomorrow. All before 8:15. It was quite a morning. It finally passed when I sat down with him and we colored a picture together during the recess. After that he was fine. Thank. God. And we got to listen to Peter and the Wolf which I've always liked, so that made things better. Nothing like 5 year olds listening to classical music...

This little boy in Luis did the funniest thing the other day. There is a boy in our class named Randy who is the quietest kid--never says boo to anyone. Luis started saying his name rolling the r and kind of growling at the end with this funny twist of his head. It was like he was saying Zorro, or someone tremendously exciting. I couldn't stop laughing. Still makes me laugh now. This is also the kid that during the class picture I told everyone to smile and show their teeth. He heard the teeth part, but not the smile. He is actually kind of snarling in the pic. Its quite a photo...

Thanks for catching up with me...soon I'll tell you about my weekend of Hooters and Burns. Not to be confused with Burns' Hooters.

That Must Have Been Some Weekend...

I showed up at a training session about two weeks ago to find Mike with two badly concealed hickeys (monkey bites as my mother would say) on either side of his neck. He asked about my weekend and I rambled some mundane answer. At which point I asked about his and he said, "Well, you can probably tell by looking what kind of weekend I had. And these aren't from my ex-girlfriend." That's right ladies, the man-whore is once again single. Thank goodness for gifts from above. As I ran my ass off, he proceeded to tell me (in the graphic detail I always seem privy to) how EXACTLY these hickeys were inflicted upon him. To his great delight I might add. Then we proceeded on with my workout where I learned that shoulders are in fact a support muscle, and mine are nowhere near as strong as I would have guessed.

Other than the man-whore, things are pretty mellow on the home front. The job is going well, even though there is some turmoil that is in the works in terms of leadership. I'll fill y'all in when there is something of interest to report. At this point, there is a lot of hyperbole, but nothing of interest other than to people that work here.

Thanksgiving will be spent at the parentals. A friend is making a surprise re-appearance for Thanksgiving, and we'll be having breakfast at 6:30 on Thursday morning. Am I a friend and a half?

I am having din-din at chateua de Townsend this evening and I am being beckoned to my first fully authorized veggie dinner. Wish me luck!

Man Whore

So I won some personal training sessions at 24 Hour Fitness and I met with Mike for the first time last Tuesday. Let me start by saying Mike is 21, about 6'2" and to sum it up quickly--hot. Mike and I had a good rapport straight away, and we started talking about our lives as I was sweating to Gwen Stefani on the treadmill. He repeatedly mentioned his girlfriend, so I asked how long they'd been together. "Since Thursday. And you know I haven't been this happy since the summer." Um, ok. He then went on to tell me that he used to work at Outback steakhouse as a "hostess". He lliked it because he met a lot of people, but I guess people talked trash and he got a reputation as a "Man Whore". But he's "not like that when he has a girlfriend". Super!

The thing is, he is so earnest and is trying so hard, I have to do my very best not to laugh, so I nod and say I know what he means because, what else can a girl say? He did give me an incredibly tough workout, so that was good. Another session tonight, so I's gots to roll. Hopefully he'll have some more good stories for me.

TomAto-Tomato, PotAto, Potato! Let's Call the Whole Thing Off!

Last week saw another first. Jorge is/was one of my students. (I was pronouncing it the Spanish way--oddly enough the way it is spelled--until about 3 weeks into school when his mom dropped him off and said, "good-bye George". Oh, okay. That would explain the lack of response those first few weeks.) Anyway, I thought it would be good to have the class work with a 2nd/3rd grade class on a reading activity. Well, I set Jorge up with a boy that I knew spoke English. He was also the biggest kid in the class--and probably in the school. I didn't know at the time that for some reason Jorge is terrified of big kids--of course... This started him crying on Monday, and he literally cried almost every minute he was in school for the next 8 days of class. At that point his mom met with the principal where the problem was discussed, and his fear of tall people came out. His mom actually requested that he get a shorter teacher. He did--at the pre-school. So he'll be back for more next year. I'll warn the next teacher to invest in flats.

The next day saw the arrival of Jason, a boy fresh off the farm in Mexico. While Jason seems smart, I don't know if his name is in fact Jason. Or maybe he doesn't know that is his name. I was thinking for a while maybe it is like when Chinese families give their kids American names like Helen or John. Does Jason seem Mexican to you? But I asked and that is supposedly not the case. All I know is, I say Jason, and there isn't a glimmer of reaction. Maybe his name is pronounced George. I'll have to try that.

As far as other things go, I think my level of patience for idiots has totally evaporated. Somehow I have met the same man (who lives in two different bodies) that drives me crazy in both SF and SJ. This is not the good crazy. They are v-ball people of the sort that love to tell you and everyone else what they are doing wrong, when they in fact are lousy players, slow and make bad decisions. This is not helped by my being a female and these men being O-L-D and pigs. So I have to say I did feel a certain degree of satisfaction when I nailed the guy in the gut earlier tonight. Not on purpose, but sometimes God just gives me a little bit of satisfaction. Can I hear an Amen?!

From our field trip to the pumpkin patch...a great day! Plus I learned how pumpkins grow. Even saw a movie! 

Loren (teammate), Gustavo (friend) and other v-ball folk. 

You like what?

So progress reports need to be done by Wednesday, so on Friday I was testing the kids in my class while the other teacher read a story and then modeled journal writing. The topic was to write about their favorite food. At this point, they only know a few sight words (I, and, my, like, etc.), and 16 sounds, so their writing consists of only the letters they have learned thus far. So she is asking them what their favorite foods are and this boy says cookies, and she ends up writing on the board, "I like coks." I looked up and could not stop laughing. She quickly erased it and wrote pizza instead.

Yesterday was just a great day from start to finish. Played in the tourney on Saturday with Loren, Bill and Edith. We ended up losing in the 2nd round of the play-offs against the team that won the whole thing. It was a great day. Somehow we ended up in a sunny, almost completely wind free area of SF. Just gorgeous. Love, love, love that tournament. Saw Gustavo again, who I haven't seen since the spring tourney that we played in together. Love that guy. He is from Peru, and played professionally down there. And he couldn't be better looking. *sigh* After the tourney, went to B&J's, hit the hot tub, had a great dinner, drank copious bottles of wine, played hearts, watched a movie and rolled into bed with a snoring pug around 3 a.m. Good times...

Golfing with Dads

Last spring all the kindergarteners went on several field trips over the course of the year. One of the fathers (from another class) that went seemed to take a shine of sorts to me. To the extent that after the last field trip, he took my cell number off the info paper I'd given my parents and took it so we could play golf sometime. (He is O.L.D. and married of course). He never called this summer, but he still takes the time to stop by and chat with me, which causes great alarm for the other teachers, but I don't really think its a big deal. So, is it normal for fathers to want to go golfing (0r do other things) with a teacher from their kid's school?

Next topic...I am thinking about taking a second job of sorts. Applying to teacher adult ESL. Considering that the students would all be Spanish speakers, I think it would be an excellent way to improve my Spanish, and earn some extra $$ for travel to South/Central America next year. It would be kind of tough--4-6 M-Thurs, plus 30 minutes of planning. I'm going to see what the story is...but it would be great if I could be on the verge of fluent in Spanish by this time next year. My debate is whether or not to write my thesis this year and finish up the masters. Oh dilemnas...

This weekend I'm playing in a 4's tourney in SF, and then Sunday going to see the Blue Angels. Love Fleet Week. Who doesn't like young men in uniforms, you know??

Wedding Aftermath

So B is now married and on a fabulous honeymoon in Tahiti. Wedding and afterparty were great...the Sunday following was a bit tough, but I did make it to the Aquarium to eat lunch, color, and watch a magic show with the H family. Oh, and then look at animals. It was great to see everyone and officially become an aunt/sister-in-law.

This week's high/lowlight was when the other teacher in my class was flipped off by a five year old in her class. I ended up handling it, but did receive a fun suggestion from a dear friend of a more appropriate/direct kind of letter...see below.

Mr. and Mrs. Little Johnny,
This morning I saw your little fucker flip off his teacher. What are you teaching this kid that he thinks this is acceptable behavior? Do you allow him to kill small kittens and light fires on neighbor's porches as well? Well, it is time to pull your collective heads from your collective ASSES and be a parent. Beat this little bastard's ass until it is pink so he understands where the line is in the sand.
Lovingly, Miss F

I didn't go with that, but it will stay on file for another time.

I'm Sorry, But I Have to Report That...

So I'm reading a story about farm animals today (no jokes at Brad's expense peanut gallery) and this charming child shouts out, "I see a cow." I asked him to be quiet, and he follows it up by saying, "My mom hit me in the face yesterday and my nose wouldn't stop bleeding." Umm. Ok, next page.

This threw me for a loop because the kid doesn't strike me as terrible honest, and it was just weird how he said it. But teachers are required to report that kind of stuff to Child Protective Services. So I was in a little quandary. I decided to talk to him one on one, and found out his mom hit him on accident with her purse, which made his nose bleed. So fortunately, no reporting necessary, and hopefully, all is well in his house. Those of you with kids may want to be aware of the little stories your kids tell at school. True, just slightly wrong.

Later I had to draw a cow to model journal writing and in trying to draw 4 legs, I put a 5th small one that was quite phallic like. I quickly made an adjustment, and finished my picture with a nicely neutered steer. I think that after telling Magoo my horse STD story on Saturday, I had a Freudian slip of the crayon. (It was an internship, and its another classic KF story. It requires an in-person rendition, which I'm happy to share if you haven't heard.)

You throw me the idol, I'll throw you the whip! 

The gang at B&E's shower. 

Screamers, Criers and Runners...Oh my!

So school started last Thursday, and today was the first day that had no one screaming, running for the door or crying all day. Yep, those first three days were just lovely. Prying crying children away from their mothers...Really feel good kinda moments. Here are some things that I have learned so far from this batch of kids...

1. Kids must have no sense of tone because they all like the way I sing. They break into applause when I stop. Go figure. Wait, maybe that's why they start. Hmm.
2. Blowing bubbles makes screaming children stop.
3. I am taller (again) than all the fathers of kids in my class.
4. People (kids and adults) understand my Spanish and seem to believe I understand them. They don't go any slower when I say despacio however, so I could be mistaken.

On a tooting my own horn note, I was very proud to see the results from the writing prompts last year. The year before I started, 56% of kindergartners were at grade level or above. Last year, 78% of students were at or above. Great improvement, and I am really excited for this year.

Hoping to use this to record funny happenings so I can eventually write the sequel to Kindergarten Cop. As always, comments/critiques are welcome!