No, it doesn't stink literally. I have not been happy with my apartment in quite a while. This was compounded recently by the two notices I've received in the last two months...but I'll go ahead and list them chronologically--to the best of my ability. I've lived in the place two years and one month. After reviewing the list, you tell me--bad luck or bad apartment?
* Tom The Peeper...Got out of the shower one morning (the door looks out my bedroom window), and I spy a set of eyes peeping in through my fence.
** Trick or Treat...returned home at about 4 one morning following a succession of Halloween parties to find my kitchen and part of my living room flooded after the kitchen sink backed up.
*** Jack in the Crack...Car was stolen from in front of my house so a couple of yahoos could hit J in the C. Left ashes adn curly fries all over the counsel when they found it 32 days later. (With open but unharmed baby presents for Child Town-normous.)
**** Plumber's Crack...I routinely have next to no water pressure in the bathroom sink, and my shower drain loves to catch my hair. This means I have to pull out a hair ball the likes of which a cat (i.e. da Bones) pukes on a regular basis.
***** Light a Match!...The apartment is quite dark, which is nice in the summer, but in order to see in the kitchen at any point in the day, you have to have a light on. I hate that! And the bathroom fan will never turn off, and it kinda drives me to drink.
****** Cat haters...Got a notice on my door that the management only allows indoor cats, and they've been seeing a lot of cats outside lately. They think this is why their flowers are all torn up. (Cats don't destroy flowers, but anyway...) So their grand solution was to hire a firm to trap cats on the property and deliver those cats to the humane society. And levy a fine against the owner. Winklestien can just barely haul his 20 lb. ass over the fence (sounds like he is taking it down) and now I have nightmares that my fence is surrounded by cat traps. I tried to keep him in, but his incessant meowing propels me to fling the door open and boot his butt out.
******* Loud sex neighbors who hate TV...If you have loud sex, I don't think it's fair to punish those of us who watch somewhat loud tv. I don't think you have the right to complain about much. That's just me.
So what do you think?
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4 comments:
Tom the Peeper: shoot him with a bee bee gun next time he peeps.
Trick/Treat: use the garbage rather than the sink to discard table scraps
Jack in the Crack: put thumb tacks on your seats so unsuspecting car theives hurt themselves when jacking your car to fill a jack craving.
Pumbers Crack: I never liked plumbers much anyway.
Light a Match: this is a classic issue that runs in your family. Remember...what goes in must come out. Go easy on those buffets. Keep a plunger handy.
Cat Haters: I have a cat you can have if "something" bad happens to wee willy winkie.
Neighbors: crank up the porn and leave the house...
Good luck with Poker at the Elbow tomorrow night.
Bad Apartment! Way too many things to chalk it up to bad luck. I thought that the flooding, peeping tom & car jacking were bad enough... now cat traps?!? What are they thinking?!?
It is time to MOVE. And I say that as I sit here waiting for my own movers to come....
As for Kid's advice of thumbtacks in the car seats...why didn't we ever think of that??? Let's see someone try to steal the Saturn again! Oh wait, I want them to steal the Saturn again..nevermind.
As a fellow movee, I second Mingle's recommendation and say get they hey-ho out of there ASAP. I know all about living with loud sex neighbors and flooding bathrooms and let me tell you, moving last week was the BEST BEST BEST thing I could have done. Even though the loud sex neighbors moved the day after me. Jerks.
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