The Last Four Weeks

Reflection on ISI 07

When I first entered the ISI program, I was excited about all the great writing I was going to create. Our first task, to write about our name left me stumped. But I figured it was ok, I mean what can you really say about the name Karin Victoria? Well, Karin Smith and Victoria showed me in quick succession that there is a lot you can say, and I suddenly wished I’d written their pieces. Mine was lame. I thought I was out of my league, and decided to be the selective mute of the group. But over time and through gaining confidence from my writing group, I found I had a voice and a desire to share and impress the people I have come to admire, enjoy and like a great deal.

In my normal life (outside Sweeney Hall that is), I find myself frequently wondering/worrying/obsessing over the way I am perceived by those around me. People rarely take the time to tell you, either professionally or socially, unless you’re about to get fired, dumped or engaged. And you never forget those conversations…but it’s unusual that as adults you walk into situations with a clean slate and are evaluated on the merit of your actions from that day forward.

For me, this class has been an opportunity to hear people’s honest reactions to something I’ve created and to take the time to share mine with them. One of the best experiences I’ve had this summer was also the quietest. Anne shared a piece in the afternoon group that had started as a prompt about someone’s hands and evolved into a devastating and gripping short story. After explaining how great I thought it was, I asked questions to clarify things I didn’t understand, and made a couple small suggestions (one was I didn’t know what the word supine meant, so I thought she should change it). She listened took some notes and I thought that was it.

I was surprised and touched when she came up to me the next day and expressed how happy and satisfied she was with my edits. I also received the following note:
“You are my first editor. How incredibly fortunate I am that you listened to my first ever short story that day.”
To be able to help someone who I think is crazy talented and have her to be thankful to me is an amazing feeling.

I’m not much of a planner when I can avoid it, so I came here with no set plan on what I was going to take away with me. I’ve always been intrigued by the idea of teaching high school and college literature, but was scared because I didn’t think I could edit the work of others. I believe stupid maxims, i.e. those who can’t do, teach. So I figured I should probably teach math in high school. Thanks to Anne’s honest feedback and those of my other peers, the knowledge I’ve garnered about my profession and myself is inspiring. I see myself now as an evolving educational professional with many avenues of opportunities to explore. And papers to edit.