World Traveler, Part Dieu

So when I last left off…I was in Europa, living the dream. Times was good, the weather cooled down, the rain arrived and my hair (and I) continued to love it. Here is a quick list of fun times. I’ll fill you in on more specifics when I show pics in the near future:
Became an honorary Trinidad and Tobegan. D & I thought it would be fun to launch the Fete de Geneve off by being in a parade. That day involved painting a British guy in chocolate, getting dressed (in a house with no mirrors) in costumes owned by a girl who is 5’2”, marching in baby steps for 3 miles over a period of 3 hours, being in photographs and videos of people from all over the world (lots of middle eastern women in burka like get-ups) that with the grace of god I’ll never see. (Another reason I can’t run for public office. Sigh).
Sketching on trains. D & I had a lot of “together time” and as usual, it was great, we were consistently amused by one another. Except this one time. We were coming back from…somewhere…and we thought it would be fun to sketch one another. Only rule was that you couldn’t erase. D’s pic actually looked like me. She’s got some skills. Mine of her looked like a man who might be touching himself inappropriately. I couldn’t erase. I finally stopped drawing to stop the bleeding, but couldn’t stop laughing. Every time I looked, it made me laugh harder. Her reaction wasn’t the same. She seemed a bit insulted. “Is this how you see me?” I can be booked for children’s parties. More fun than a clown!
I saw Everest on a clear day. Well not really. It was the Matterhorn, but I couldn’t stop calling it Everest. Took an early morning train (4:45) to Zermott, which is an unbelievable town in the middle of Suisse. It only has miniature electric cars, horse drawn carriages, and lots of beautiful mountains. We toured around the town, including a stop in the climbers cemetery which is in the heart of town. People from all over the world, including some men that were only 17. Fact for those inclined to become mountaineers. My quick study noted that most people die on the way down. So don’t go thinking that’s the easy part. We took a series of three trams to the top which didn’t have snow, but it did have a great view of Everest and a fun teeter totter. We also ate roassti, which is a potato based dish, with cheese, sausage, and all good things. Kick ass. And the restaurant, Ya, they have lots of alcohol. Then we walked all the way down. And now you know that is the most dangerous part!
People in Geneva have NO IDEA WHAT WAKEBOARDING IS. Sure, they go out on boards on water, behind boats, but the lake is nothing but rough. “Wakeboarding” was like being in one of those old work out machines that puts a belt around your waist and shakes and jiggles your action.
Nothing small at Petite Palace. Our wild club night…G-Money missed the fun, but let me tell you--D & I did not. We went with a group of her friends…en route, we actually saw a stunningly attractive young guy driving a white Lamborghini. (Apparently it is a well-known and summer regular happening that Saudi princes fly in planes of their entourage and their cars.) Going into the place, we moved toward what we thought was the bar, but in actuality was a couple doing a sexy show where the big finish was oral sex. She was totally naked, he in a speedo. Then they finished up, we had some drinks, and they did the show again in an hour. This time on top of an American flag, so I gotta think that was a shout out.
Boys can be tricky. In Amsterdam, I found myself getting seduced by what I thought was a gay man (who was on vacation with his boyfriend). I thought I’d finally made a gay friend. I think I’m not metrosexual enough for the average gay fellow. But after seeing women with gay friends on Sex in the City, I wanted one. So when they were super friendly, bought us drinks and wanted to hang out, we were all for it. Then it began to dawn on us, that they were really coming on to us, and would love to be the bread in a D&K sandwich. So I guess in retrospect they were either tricky hetero guys, or bisexuals. Which just seems greedy. One or the other. Both? Really?
Amsterdam has the most memorable tour guides. Mike’s Bike Tour rocked. Diego the boat guy—loved him. Drunken whore tour guide. Not so good. But at least I saw where she may or may not have had sex with Quentin Tarantino while he was strung out on heroin writing Pulp Fiction. Which explains why that movie is so damn dark. And her boyfriend…kind of like a dirtier old man version of Dharma’s dad from that TV show a few years back.

So that’s some of what I could think of…times were great with G&D. We laughed, we ate, we drank, and we emailed. Many good times and memories. I always thought G and I would have been good roommates. I think he knows it now too. So many thanks to them, my loyal email correspondents, and all the cool peeps we met.