Ok, so most of my loyal readers are more outspoken than I in awkward social situations--so I'm turning to you for your advice. This weekend, a friend of a friend said the following comments to me in a loud voice in front of multiple people. (All in the guise of "kidding"). I should preface this by saying I had just gotten my hair done and it looked pretty great. Here you go:
* "K, your hair does look great. I want to have sex with your hair. And I'm not talking about the hair on your head!"
* "K, you are the first girl I've let drive my car whose pussy I haven't eaten. This is not to say that I wouldn't. Do you want me to? Because I would totally eat your pussy."
This is just a taste test--the ones I remember. So here is the question. Given that this is a dear friend of a friend, and they were there the whole time, I was both shocked and stunned that this was said in the company or said at all. How would you people have handled it. I thought that anything I said would come out really malicious and mean--lots of material to rip this guy a new one--and I knew he'd say, "I'm just kidding".
Just so you all are aware of what you need to do to get me to be the DD in your car next time we go out...
On a side note--watching the West Wing. Stopped wawtcihng a few years ago. Josh and Donna finally kissed. I love it when longtime crushes hook up. Yeah!
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9 comments:
Before I respond I'd like to share with you a few of my assumptions:
1) the pussy this dear friend of yours is refering to is not your cat "Milo (Joy Marie)"
2) this dear dear friend of yours is a fella (not that there is anything wrong if this person is not)
3) to become a dear dear friend of yours does not require social grace
2 Cents:
*Slap in the face
*Pull over and kick this person out of his/her own car until appoligies for making an ass of themself
*Do nothing and rip this person a new one "offline"...I just noticed you said "guy"...must be a fella. Kidding or not it was not appropriate or welcomed.
All in all it sounds like this good good friend has a thing for you. At a minimum this chump owes you an apology...drunk or not. Too bad for him that a girl like you has standards and he does not qualify for a taste test.
um, is this the bf of the girl who hates you? I think you should let him have it (the verbal tirade, not your hair...ANYWHERE) and then end with "oh, you didn't think I was serious, did you? I was TOTALLY kidding."
Or agree with the Kid on the more physical responses. SING (Miss Congenialty) always works! Solarplexus, Instep, [k]Nee, Groin!!! :)
and where's the good friend in sticking up for you, and keeping the guy in check?
To clarify--Mr. Maker of Gross Statements is NOT a friend of mine. And in no way is this person of half my stature and body weight interested in yours truly. I say that as someone who is normally very willing to believe people are into her. I just think he lacks the knowledge to talk about anything other than bodily functions.
And I was surprised as well that the friend didn't curb he verbalness. Something was said, but Mr. make of GS just blew right through the protestations.
Got it...I'm not that strong a reader.
I know who this is...it's that guy who acts totally gay (and is) but thinks he's straight. Total halfpint too. My take is he is obviously overcompensating on the "hetero" side and should just be honest with himself and put the rainbow bumpersticker on his car already.
WOW! I would have been stunned as well, but I think KB has the right idea... let him have it verbally and top it off with a swift kick...
Of course, being in that situation, I would have probably come up with some brilliant lines AFTER the prime moment had passed (just before kicking him out of the car and onto the curb).
But anyway, I just hope you are never in that jerk's presence again!
I'm with Kid in posting at 8:06...I know who this is too, and he even stuns me into silence when I'm around him. Sorry, no help, from this normally outspoken person. He even makes Kid look like an angel.
Some people are just so uncouth.
When trying to teach young children about standing up for their rights, one possible strategy is to help them cut past offenders off at the pass: "Last time you sat next to me, you colored on my paper. If you are going to do that this time, you need to sit somewhere else."
From all the peanut gallery says, it sounds like this is a pattern with this guy. Like everyone has said, it would benefit everyone if he was schooled, so to say. And your "friend" who lets this business continue. You can choose your own words to make it sound more natural, but here is a possible script:
"Last time I saw you two, _____ made some profoundly crass and obnoxious statements about his interest in my lower anatomy. I know I am irresistible to those who are staturely challenged, but if you are going to be so rude today and if you, ______, are going to let his comments go without letting him know it is not acceptable to channel "American Pie" movie dialog, then I am not going to grace you with my presence in the future."
Sheesh. Some people really should go back to kindergarten.
Ummm can we get another Chronicle from Karin...
I'm with the Kid. Where are you Costa Rica Chica?!!
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