I'm Sorry, But I Have to Report That...

So I'm reading a story about farm animals today (no jokes at Brad's expense peanut gallery) and this charming child shouts out, "I see a cow." I asked him to be quiet, and he follows it up by saying, "My mom hit me in the face yesterday and my nose wouldn't stop bleeding." Umm. Ok, next page.

This threw me for a loop because the kid doesn't strike me as terrible honest, and it was just weird how he said it. But teachers are required to report that kind of stuff to Child Protective Services. So I was in a little quandary. I decided to talk to him one on one, and found out his mom hit him on accident with her purse, which made his nose bleed. So fortunately, no reporting necessary, and hopefully, all is well in his house. Those of you with kids may want to be aware of the little stories your kids tell at school. True, just slightly wrong.

Later I had to draw a cow to model journal writing and in trying to draw 4 legs, I put a 5th small one that was quite phallic like. I quickly made an adjustment, and finished my picture with a nicely neutered steer. I think that after telling Magoo my horse STD story on Saturday, I had a Freudian slip of the crayon. (It was an internship, and its another classic KF story. It requires an in-person rendition, which I'm happy to share if you haven't heard.)

You throw me the idol, I'll throw you the whip! 

The gang at B&E's shower. 

Screamers, Criers and Runners...Oh my!

So school started last Thursday, and today was the first day that had no one screaming, running for the door or crying all day. Yep, those first three days were just lovely. Prying crying children away from their mothers...Really feel good kinda moments. Here are some things that I have learned so far from this batch of kids...

1. Kids must have no sense of tone because they all like the way I sing. They break into applause when I stop. Go figure. Wait, maybe that's why they start. Hmm.
2. Blowing bubbles makes screaming children stop.
3. I am taller (again) than all the fathers of kids in my class.
4. People (kids and adults) understand my Spanish and seem to believe I understand them. They don't go any slower when I say despacio however, so I could be mistaken.

On a tooting my own horn note, I was very proud to see the results from the writing prompts last year. The year before I started, 56% of kindergartners were at grade level or above. Last year, 78% of students were at or above. Great improvement, and I am really excited for this year.

Hoping to use this to record funny happenings so I can eventually write the sequel to Kindergarten Cop. As always, comments/critiques are welcome!